Abs Tales

Just in case some of you were thinking Abs was only a "creative thinker" at home, let me enlighten you. The children visit almost every weekend. Usually only the 2 older ones, stay overnight on Saturday and attend church with me on Sunday morning. This gives us some bonding time and, hopefully, gives DD-Ko some relief. Abs is busy from the time she arrives until she goes home. I try to keep an eye on her all the time, but...well...you know how that goes.

Abs has 3 rules to follow for church. She repeats them to me before we leave the house, once or twice in the car, before we leave the car at church, and after we enter the church building. Sometimes I just remind her to think of the 3 rules before she goes to the front of the church for the Children's Moment, a lesson held with the children gathered in front of the altar. The three rules?

1. No "picking" -Abs has an ongoing problem with her underwear. No, we don't know what it is. One day her mom bought seven new sets of underwear - different brands, sizes, and styles. Nothing seems to work. Abs pulls at the underwear while contorting her body into some amazing positions. It doesn't matter where she is when the mood to "pick at her underwear" strikes. I just try to keep it from happening at the altar during the Children's Moment. Most people find it a little distracting.
2. One answer, and then only to a question - Abs usually has something to contribute on every subject. She also questions everything she is told and wants to discuss it. This is not a bad thing, unless she happens to be sitting in front of 150 people who can't wait to hear what will come out of her mouth next. Example ...Leader :"We have a direct line to God." Abs: "That's a mess of wires!"
3. Keep your hands to yourself - Abs will try to hug everyone in sight, see what the leader has in the closed box, examine all the items on a tray, and check out everything within arm's reach. She has not yet equaled her sister's escapade. When Em was about 5, she was bored during the Children's Moment. Lacking anything to busy her hands, she got up and began examining her surroundings at the altar. The area around the altar is pretty barren, but at eye level ON the altar, there is plenty to see. She strolled around, just looking at everything. She lifted a corner of the cloth on the table, then let it fall. She looked closely at the closed communion trays. As she reached up and considered removing one of the lids, there was a collective intake of breath from the congregants, followed by a collective sigh of relief as she moved on, deciding against a peek inside. The Leader courageously ignored this activity and focused attention on all the children sitting quietly in front. After church, I took her up, showed her everything in depth, and answered her questions.

Abs has learned not to admit to anything.

Some very young children do not realize that they're lying. They tell imaginary lies which are a mixture of make-believe and reality. Such lies combine children's rich creative playful side and their everyday lives. As children continue to develop and grow, these intricate tall-tales will pass away.

Me - observing about a cup of soft butter plopped in the kitchen sink - "Where did this butter come from?"

Abs - "I don't know. It wasn't me. I thought I heard Em walking around, then a "plopping" noise like peanut butter or something."

Em - getting ready for church after leaving her jewelry on my bathroom counter before going to bed - "My ring is gone. Where is my ring? Abbbiiieeee!"

Abs - "I don't know. I haven't seen it!"

Me - "We will sit here and look at each other until someone knows something!"

Abs - "Fine! I didn't do it, but has anyone even thought of looking in the suitcase [in the other room]? I didn't do it, but it could just be in the suitcase! Duh!"

Me: "Well, why don't you look in the suitcase and see if it is in there."

Abs: "Fine! I will look, but I didn't do it." Abs finds the ring in the suitcase.

Well, you get the picture. Every day is a surprise. Abs is fortunate to have a mother who can, sometimes, see the humor in all this.