From the Memory Box - "King Tut"

From the Memory Box:

"I remember King Tut...We did make it to the exhibit by which point Ki and Ko had made up a song and dance. They sang, ran through the exhibit, Dad chased, and Mom got to walk through the exhibit."

Yes, this is the occasion alluded to in a previous post(Sunday, June 8th). I am happy someone else remembers it. I still have the treasured little pewter jaguar that DS bought at the exhibit and gave me for Christmas.

From the Memory Box - "The TR4"

"I remember when Dad got the Triumph. DD-Ki, DS, and I pushed it up and down the driveway at the lady's house trying to get it started. Although Dad was worried it wouldn't start, it did, and led to many adventures for the two of you."

Actually, I believe you might be remembering when we got the Triumph for DS. We have had several Triumphs and each has its own story. This one was made the same year DS was born and it seemed fitting for him to drive it off to college.

Dad's theory was that it was simple enough for DS to learn about car mechanics and keep it running. It would give him some means of transportation but not allow any extravagant trips or carrying a lot of people. I really think Dad was bestowing his own dream on his son.

The Triumph ran well enough to get him home occasionally.
"It doesn't go very fast," he said. We just smiled
One day he announced with great pride that he had the best parking space on campus. It seems he did not take it out very often, so he just kept moving it to a better parking place at each opportunity. Now, he had the best one and he kept it all semester.

We stored DS' TR4 for many years after college as he moved around the country and needed more reliable transportation. It is in the process of being restored and should be available for driving before too many more months. Hopefully, now he'll have time to get my TR3 up and running.

I have many tales of our Triumph days that I can relate in future posts. For details of some of our trips, see here.

From the Memory Box - "Children and TV"

"I remember your saying 'If I could figure out how to hook up an exercise bike to the TV, I would do it!'"

Yes, this was an oft repeated lament. I was one of those mothers who was always shooing children outside to play. That is difficult when the summers are so hot and humid. We had only one TV and it was in the family room. Children sneaked in at every opportunity, turned it on with the sound down low, and lazed around until I discovered them. I figured if the TV were hooked up to run off an exercise bike, they would either get more exercise or watch less TV.

There were also restrictions on what they could watch. Besides the usual no-nos, I outlawed such shows as "The Flintstones." That Flintstone woman was always putting her husband down, making him look incompetent and foolish. It was a message I didn't want washed into my children's brains. I was well aware that several programs that were banned at our house, were viewed at the friend's homes. My thinking was that the children were conversant with the programs so they did not feel left out at school, but they realized there was something wrong with those programs since they were not allowed to watch them at home. We talked about them, but it was never a very important conversation to any of us. TV was just not that important. Only rarely did we ever watch it during our meals, and that was because it was something of particular interest. They never had TVs in their rooms, so that was not an issue.

My ultimate and, in my opinion, most successful plan was that each child could watch 30 minutes of TV, under the same common rules (no violence, etc.). If they wanted to watch an hour long show, they had to negotiate with the others for a combined time. It seemed to work and the different ages had little interest in watching the older or younger ones programs so viewing time was decreased overall.

So what was the long-range effect? I only know that for my grandchildren, TV is a special dispensation.

From the Memory Box - "Weekend Isolation"

"I remember when we used to have stores and sell our junk in our doorways to one another."

That must have been when you were banished to your rooms "until they were cleaned." I would warn you in advance, then begin the sentence on Friday. You were only allowed out to go to church, visit the bathroom, and go to the dinner table. Of course, it backfired on me. All of you stayed in your rooms, quite happily, all weekend. You did not have TVs or radios in your rooms, so you read and hung out by the doors to talk to one another. You exchanged books by sliding them across the hall from one room to the next. Monday morning you went off to school with nary a thing having been accomplished in your rooms.

From the Memory Box - "Lost Shoes"

"I remember losing our shoes at someone's house in the neighborhood and you had to call around in the morning to find them."

Now this is one I don't remember at all! Most of the time all the neighborhood kids were playing at our house, so it is a surprise to me that you lost your shoes elsewhere. You probably had to pull them off to go in someone else's house.

The neighborhood was quite small, so calling around was not a big deal. Calling before you had to leave for school might have been bad timing. The bus stopped right in front of our house and would wait a minute or two for you if you were running late. Later, after the neighborhood had built up a little more, the bus stopped at more centrally located spots. When you missed the bus (the driver no longer waited), you had to run to the end of the street ( we lived near the beginning of a loop) and flag the bus down and get on. I think the other kids gave you a hard time about that, so it didn't happen more than one time for each one of you. "It was so embarrassing!"

If you completely missed the bus, I would take you one time. If you missed it again, you had to stay home and take a note to school the next day stating that you were absent because you had missed the bus. That did not happen more than once. Fortunately, all of you learned valuable lessons from these simple acts, but I was not voted "Mother of the Year."

From the Memory Box - "German Dancing"

"I remember Kr and DS doing German dances. We would go to the restaurant and all do the "Chicken Dance."

The kids had a great HS German teacher who also sponsored a German Dance Group. Kr & DS also danced with a community group that did, mostly, German dances. We had great fun watching them perform at various festivals and, you're right, we could all do the "Chicken Dance" with great fervor.

I LOVE to dance and attempted to join the community group. One practice session had me spinning so much that I walked sideways after we finished, so I gave it up. DS took great delight in doing the polka with me because he so enjoyed seeing me too dizzy to walk a straight line afterward.

Memory Box - "The Scam"

This is DD-Ko's story.....

"When I was a Junior in HS (or maybe a sophomore), I had a lunch money scam going on. It didn't start out to be one, contrary to what was thought. Dad would go out to the car and warm it up for me so I didn't have to get in a cold car. (I don't think I ever did thank you, Dad, so Thanks!) Anyway, while he was warming up the car one day, I asked Mom for lunch money - a whopping $1.25 at the time. Mom gave me some and when I got to school, Dad handed me $1.25 for lunch. I didn't say anything, and this continued for several weeks. Finally, one day while the car was warming up, Dad came in and asked Mom - while I was standing right there - for some quarters for my lunch money. Mom told him she didn't have any because she had been giving me lunch money for the last several weeks. Dad looked over at me and said, "So have I!" By this time they were both looking at me, and luckily I remember Dad kinda' laughing. I never got in trouble for it. Whew....."

I can hardly qualify this account with a response. Most of our children ran a scam at one time or another, but they have grown into responsible, honest adults. Most of their enjoyment appeared to have come from trying to get the best of Mom & Dad. Even when I took them grocery shopping, I was at risk. One day I got almost to the checkout stand before I noticed my basket was full of expensive, frivolous items. I might not have noticed until later except the children had gotten very quiet. THAT attracted my attention. They waited with shining eyes and an air of expectancy until I looked down and saw my filled basket, then they all dissolved in laughter.

Is it any wonder they had to be graduating Seniors to before they were allowed to drive themselves to school?

From the Memory Box - "Learning from Tapes"

"Remember how you put all your notes on tape so you could listen to them as you carted us around? The sounds of children fighting were in the background."

I enrolled in Nursing School when my children were deemed old enough to function, at least somewhat, by themselves. It was quite a shock to our home system to have this stay-at-home mom going back to school. Time was of the essence. DH did what he could but he was travelling a lot at the time so I tried to make every second count. I had no family close enough to help and would only call on friends in case of a real emergency.

There was a ton of reading and absorbing new information. One of my techniques for covering information, was to read certain notes into a tape recorder, then play them back as I drove to and from classes more than an hour away and as I delivered the children to their various activities. It was not what the children wanted to hear. I sometimes played tapes when I went to sleep, thinking my subconscious would remember it even if I didn't.

Eventually, I realized it was taking too much time to listen to all those tapes and I reverted to my original study habits. It is not easy for an old dog to learn new tricks but, with patience and perseverance, it can be done.

I finally graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. The next day, my children lined up to present their physical complaints one by one and I gave them the benefit of my new-found expertise.
"That's the same thing you told us before you became a nurse!" one protested.
"Maybe so, but now it is official!" said DH.

Memory Box - "Backyard Wildlife"

DD#2 keeps bugging me to draw from the Memory Box. I have to admit, I am a little slow about it sometimes because it can bring a torrent of memories and I have to deal with them before I can draw again. This morning, however, I did draw one....

" I remember the one squirrel that appeared in our yard and you took a whole roll of film of him."

While I admit I was enamored of the creatures that were reluctant to move out of their homes to accommodate our intrusion, and I was prone to try to document our lives by photography, I do think "a whole roll of film" is a bit of an exaggeration.

We had moved from a suburban area in Australia where screeching galahs and cockatoos flew overhead, while laughing kookaburras perched on the brick fence in back of our house. We had moved to a treeless plain in Texas that had previously housed grazing cattle belonging to a local farmer. The seasons were defined by the bird population on our 1 1/2 acre yard - a sea of yellow and gray meadowlarks singing in the summer, a snow-like ,white covering of honking snow geese migrating through in the winter, and robins drunk on fermented pyracantha berries in January / February.

Killdeer laid their eggs in nests built on the ground, exposing their potential progeny to being ravaged by one of our many cats, while the mockingbird swooped down to attack any unwary feline. Ground squirrels appeared from their underground homes, sometimes accompanied by babies which were, temporarily, abandoned close to the entry hole. I agonized over the possible fate of those mewling toddlers as their parents demonstrated a form of "tough love." The red wing hawk watched from above.

Most of these populations wisely moved on as the surrounding rice fields and farm lands succumbed to encroachment by builders who left sturdy rooftop dwellings in their wake. There were too many humans and domesticated predators for the local wildlife.

With the advent of trees and landscaping, the rare pheasant and sage hen gave way to ducks from our neighbor's pond. The leader led his harem daily to visit our yard, looking for bugs as they waddled their way to our pear tree. They feasted on fallen pears, then headed home chattering happily. Sadly, they disappeared one by one, to grace our neighbor's table.

We planted fruit trees, pine trees, a palm tree, crepe myrtles, and two pecan trees. It was when the trees began to gain height that the squirrels arrived. It was a smorgasbord for the squirrel community. Fortunately, it took them a while to find us. Thus, a squirrel was a real novelty. A cute, little, furry critter that would bide his time from a distance, skitter in to reap the best of the harvest, then scamper away with a twitch of a feathery tail just to let us know who was really in charge of the area. Is it any wonder I took a few pictures?

There was not a huge influx of squirrels before we moved, but there were probably more around than we were privileged to see. Little trees popped up in the most unusual places, planted, I am quite certain, by squirrels trying to stock a winter larder. They are certainly more plentiful now. Peeking from the branches of the tall trees, scudding over the telephone wires, and wantonly racing cars across the road, this symbol of suburban wildlife is no longer a novelty in the area. Thanks to the wonders of digital photography, I don't have to use a "whole roll of film" to photgraph a squirrel.

From the Memory Box - Pillbugs

I did write a well-thought out post yesterday but somehow it disappeared into cyberspace. it had a photo and everything. I am not too keen on repeating my efforts from scratch, so it may be awhile before I attempt that subject again.

Meanwhile, here's another thought from The Memory Box:

One day we collected tons of pill bugs and built a maze out of Legos with ham as a reward and tried to train the pillbugs to complete the maze.

I think they gave up on training pillbugs, but since they were plentiful, the children played with them a lot. One day DD was holding one in her hand and called our attention to it. The pillbug was walking along the palm of her hand leaving a trail of translucent babies in her wake.

Yes, it amazing what children dream up when they are not allowed to sit in front of the T.V. Our children came up with several different "experiments." I observed DS coming to the front door several times each day and lifting the outside doormat.
"What are you doing? I finally asked him.
"Looking for bugs, " he told me nonchalantly.
"Well, why do you look so many times each day?"
"There is always something new," he explained.

Besides the pill bugs in the maze, there was the incident in the bathroom. I smelled a terrible odor but could not find the source. Several days later the odor was even stronger so I took everything out of the cupboards. Way in the back I found a bowl with molding navy beans. I called a conference.
"Where did these beans come from and why are they here?" I demanded.
"We were doing an experiment," the children explained.
"Why did you leave the beans in the cupboard?"
"Because the experiment didn't work," they explained with great logic.

Such was life in the household. One experiment was "cooking macaroni" with hot water out of the tap. I found that one in the bathroom cupboard as well.Then there were the snakes, but I will leave that for another time.....

Memory Box - "Injecting Culture"

from the Memory Box today....

"Remember when we went to Miller Outdoor Theater and saw the story of Ninfa's?"

Ninfa's is a popular Mexican Restaurant in Houston. Ninfa is the name of a Texas woman who opened the restaurant in a corner of the failing family business after her husband died. She parlayed the restaurant into a legend. In 1982, Theater Under The Stars made her life into a musical called, appropriately, "Ninfa." I don't think it was a hit, but it was interesting to Houstonians.

I don't remember that particular play, other than attending. I do remember the wonderful summer nights we spent under the stars, on the hill at Miller Outdoor Theater. The original attraction, besides the opportunity to inject some culture into my children, satisfy my longing for the theater, and get out of the house, was the price - FREE. We would go early to get a good spot, take a picnic supper, and watch the children play while waiting for the start of the program at dusk.

My favorite recollection is lying on blankets spread over the grassy hill positioned to catch each small breeze, watching fireflies and swatting mosquitoes while listening to a concert. The orchestra was loud enough to drown the noises of chattering children and gossiping adults, allowing a short time of total immersion in the moment. The lights of the nearby city were not strong enough to obliterate all the stars so I could lie on my back and gaze into the starlit sky. I listened to the sounds of patriotic music which never fail to stir the blood coursing through my veins that makes me so proud and thankful to be an American. From the lilting piccolo to the boom of the cannons in the finale, surrounded by the people I love, I filled myself with the sounds and sights of the evening.

I am touched when my children remember those times.

Memory Box - "Lunch Out"

From the Memory Box today:

"Remember when you took DD#3 to Swenson's for a sundae after gymnastics? The waitress gave her 7 gumballs!"

I do remember taking her there several times after gymnastics every week. In fact we went so often that the waitress knew us. I don't remember the 7 gumballs but DD#3 was a picky eater and she loved Swenson's grilled cheese. I think she might have gotten a small sundae with the child's meal. A small sundae.

Memory Box - "An Experience in Germany"

From the Memory Box this morning:

"I remember when you came to Germany and Gunner left me in the hospital in labor with Em so that he could go get you from the airport. You arrived in time and then, over the next 5 1/2 days I was in the hospital, you would visit for a bit and then wander around the German countryside. You brought me a dozen pink roses for my room."

It was very difficult to make a decision on an arrival date since first babies are notoriously unpredictable. The goal was to be present in time to help out when you got home and it worked out just fine.

I was very surprised when Gunner showed up at the airport. I think he was torn between staying with you and having some stranger meet and drive me around. Anyway, it worked out fine since you waited for us. I went directly to the L&D room from the airport.

I must have appeared quite comfortable in the town as I made my way around looking in the small shops and ordering sandwiches for lunch from the various delis. As I sat on a retaining wall under a tree one afternoon, I was approached by a talkative young German woman. I told her I didn't speak German, having retained very, very little from the one course I had taken many years previously. Although she acknowledged my explanation, it did not deter her. She continued her conversation with me in German and I answered her in English. I think we could both pick out just enough words to make the ideas understandable.

One day, I strolled far enough to the end of town to find a cycling path which, apparently, meandered between the small villages. I started down the path several times. but stopped before too long since I did not know where it led nor have any idea how far I would have to go before having to walk all the way back. I onced dreamed of cycling around Europe. I wish I had had a bicycle with me then. I think I might have taken a small jaunt and explored a bit of the countryside.

Memory Box - Travel & T.V.

From the Memory Box:

Remember when we went to Colorado in the van? We had the black & white T.V. that would run for two hours on a battery and the four of us watched Kramer vs Kramer. At the end of the show, (DD#1) had to keep flipping the switch to get a bit of a charge so that she could see who starred in the show. How in the world did we get reception, speeding down the highway?

It was a 15 passenger van. We thought it would provide enough room for four children that we would not have any problems. NOT! However, one of the bench seats in the middle of the van could be flipped around so two of the bench seats could face each other. A table could then be pulled up, attached to the wall of the van on one side and rested on one leg on the other side.

The T.V. was portable, very small, and had only a black and white picture. It could be plugged in to an electrical outlet or run on its battery. Although the battery did not last long, the novelty of it did make the trip a bit easier for a couple of hours.

Another way I maintained a couple of hours camaraderie, but it only worked one time, was when I told the children we would be going through snow.
"Keep your eyes open," I said, "you will miss it if you aren't being observant."
The exercise kept everyone's attention for quite a while, even though they were sceptical and kept asking when they would see it. Finally, I pointed out to them, as we sailed past in the car, the little green sign on the side of the road that said "Snow."
They tried to argue, but I was adamant that we had gone through a small town named Snow. Therefore, we had gone through Snow.

From the Memory Box - Cowboys & Indians

I drew another memory from the Memory Box today.....

"Remember when (DS) would play cowboys and Indians with (a neighbor boy)? he would let us play and promptly tie us up. You would say 'DS, UNTIE YOUR SISTERS!'"

DS has always been quiet and steady. He learned early how to get others to do what he wanted without too much fuss. I think one reason was that he waited until it really mattered to him or else he made sure it really mattered to the other person. DDs #2 & 3 were always begging him to play with them. Eventually he would give in, but it would not be the game of their choosing, or if it were the game of their choosing, he would change the rules drastically.

Playing cowboys and Indians is a case in point. The boys were about 5 years older than the little girls. I would hear the commotion outside as the girls harassed the boys and interrupted their games. I didn't think too much about it when the sounds changed to girls on one side of the house and the boys mysteriously silent, but I went out to check anyway. I found the girls tied to the poles of the swing set and the boys nowhere in sight. That is when I yelled to DS to "UNTIE YOUR SISTERS!"
"But the Indians tie people to the stake!" everyone protested. The girls were just happy to be included.

Years later, DS' persuasive skills which had been so carefully honed as he played with his sisters, stood him in good stead when he worked as a bouncer at the Driskill Hotel. A man well on the way to complete inebriation, was causing quite a ruckus. DS confronted the man and asked him to leave.
"You wanna' make me?" the man asked, his speech slurred by too many tips of the glass.
"Hey, you wanna' fight, man?" DS questioned aggressively.
"Shure, come on, mishx it up," the man replied, attempting to stand without falling.
"Well, let's just step outside," DS goaded.
The man staggered out the front door, followed by DS. As the man reached the sidewalk in front of the Hotel, DS stood in the doorway.
"Go home. Don't come back in." DS told him calmly.

Memory Box - "Hee Haw Overalls"

Some of the papers in the Memory Box have very few words, but they are well-chosen and conjure up a myriad of memories. This morning I drew out a paper with just these three words - "Hee Haw Overalls" - and laughed until I cried. Hopefully, I can find a photo somewhere.

We were on a very tight budget when the children were growing up. I was very diligent about using coupons and shopping the sales. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, the children were too young to protest a lot of my choices. The Hee Haw overalls were a real bargain! I didn't really like them at first, they were too far out for my taste, but the price was very right. The style was right off the farm - bib overalls gussied up for city folk. They were made of a serviceable denim with a cream-colored background for the country style designs printed on them. II could have chosen blue-denim, but it wasn't available in the right size. The designs were in brighter, more noticeable colors - chickens, flowers, and Hee Haw printed all over. In fact, the whole effect was "Here I am!" For years now, we have only had to mention "Hee Haw Overalls" and everyone dissolves in laughter. The name doesn't help.

In spite of later jokes and protestations, the children loved to wear those overalls. I say children because, of course, everything was passed down from one to another. Actually, I think these were new for DD#2 and only passed to DD#3. They wore them everywhere. When the knees finally wore out and / or the girls grew so tall the overalls became "highwaters," I did what any normal mom on a budget does - I cut them off and made shorts out of them. Since the girls seemed to grow long legs before the rest of their bodies caught up, the Hee Haw shorts got a few extra months wear. Now, I wonder where I put those photos.......

Sharing a Memory

Finally, I processed the last memory from the Memory Box enough to be able to draw another one. I did that today while DD#2 was here.

I remember when you taught my Brownie troop. There was a little girl named E-- that went to my school and was the daughter of a single mother. You arranged for her to come home with me on the day of the meeting on the bus. You also got her a uniform and covered her snack when it was her turn. You made sure she was included in everything. I wonder what happened to her, but I know you had an effect on her.

Yes, I remember E--- very well. I loved Girl Scouting and what it did for the girls and the adults who were involved in it. I also realize our Council was very special in the way it did things and what it accomplished. Girl Scouting will always hold a very special place in my heart. One year the theme was "Find the Gift in Every Child." I took that to heart and really tried to find that gift. It was hard sometimes.

E--- was one of my challenges. She seemed to live on a different plane and moved through life in a fog. At the same time, she was cheery, enthusiastic, and willing to try everything. She came by this honestly, as her mother seemed to have the same traits. When the mom told me E--- couldn't come to our meetings because she had no transportation, I arranged for her to ride the bus to my home on those days. The first time E--- was supposed to bring snacks for the troop, she "forgot." She insisted on calling her mom who brought the snack over after work. Somewhere along the way there was a communication gap. Instead of snack for 20 girls, her mom brought a small package of chips and a soda for E--- alone. Fortunately, I had snacks in my kitchen that I could pull out. Afterward, it was just less stressful for me to provide something than ask E---. When we were planning to go on a field trip and needed a permission slip, I sent the papers home with the girls to bring back the next meeting with a parental signature. Since E--- never returned hers, I would just meet her mom at the car when she picked her daughter up, have her sign the slip right then, and give her a copy of the details. I am still not convinced the mother knew what her daughter was doing or when.

Yes, I too wonder what happened to E---. All those who work with kids say they feel the time was worth it, if they can just touch one life. I will probably never know whether or not E---was touched. I like to believe she was. Now, even more important to me, I know my child was touched when she saw what was happening.

Thank you for the insight....and the memory.....

The Memory Box

I don't really need to celebrate any more birthdays. If I had my way, they would just pass by and be another day. I have to admit, this was a good day.

DD#2 can not keep a secret and she has been chomping at the bit to let me know what she was bringing over today. After I saw it, I understood why. DDs #2&3 put together a Memory Box. It is a pretty little, teal-blue box with a lid, and it is just chock full of memories. Each memory is written on a slip of paper, folded, and placed in the box. I have been instructed to open just 1-2 each week. This sounded difficult at first, but when I opened the first one, a dozen memories came flooding in. I want to savor those memories and the feelings they evoke, so I won't open the slips of paper all at once, I will wait until each one settles a bit.

The first one, extracted randomly, said:
"I remember when you and Dad went out for some business dinner and you wore the maroon dress with the pearl buttons and left in the yellow car."

While I don't recall the specific occasion, I do remember that dress. It was one of my favorites. I also remember the yellow Datsun, but for the life of me, I can't remember why we bought a yellow one. We must have gotten a good deal on it. We didn't leave the children and go out very often, so t shouldn't surprise me that they would remember this rare occasion. We would pay the older children to baby-sit the younger ones, and pay the younger ones a paltry sum to "baby-sit themselves." All were subject to losing their "pay" if there were any unsavory circumstances. If there were, we never knew it.

The few times we had a babysitter when they were very young, I was worried they might cry when we left. Before we went out the door, I would give each of them a marshmallow, something they did not ordinarily get to eat. I told them they could eat it as soon as the car was out of sight. I have memories of them clutching their marshmallows tightly in their little hands , noses pressed to the window, and bright eyes watching gleefully as we got into the car and drove away. They never cried.