Just a Day in the Life……

The blog has been quiet, but life has not. ABW and three little hearts are visiting for a couple of weeks and they are going at full tilt. Em is such a young lady and she dressed with a decidedly French air Sunday. This was probably related to her study of French in Middle School. She wore my black beret to church with great flair. Next year she will be studying Spanish. Junior wants to be a part of everything that is happening. To that end, he refuses to slow down or stop until he is finally given a warm bath and put to bed.
It is Abs who carries the day…every day. She keeps us on our toes and focused. We attempt constant supervision, but she is always one-up on us. Just consider….

Abs was playing in the greenbelt behind our house, alone. I live in a very safe community, so we don’t worry about the children as long they are aware of the safety precautions for snakes and scorpions. Abs responded to our call to come home, reluctantly it seemed. She appeared covered in black splotches…splotches of tar, to be more exact. She said she had found it and wondered what her body would look like painted black. She figured she could wash it off in the bath. It did wash off in the bath, after a thorough scrubbing with oil. To her credit, she did not complain.

Abs has been busy picking all my flowers, visiting the neighbors (and delivering my flowers), checking her appearance after sampling my makeup, watching TV while eating from a gallon container of ice cream while sitting on my couch (yes, both she and the ice cream were sitting on the couch) , smearing something on the pillow case then decorating it with flowers for her sister’s dreaming pleasure, going full tilt down the inclined driveway on a flimsy, too-small, plastic kid’s trike to see how far she could make it up the street, and a host of other activities that only Abs can think of.

ABW and I were both relieved after the children had supper, a bath, stories, and were tucked in for the night, but Abs was still upset after a parental paddling, a rare occurrence in spite of everything. ABW and I were relaxing while watching an inane TV show when the phone rang once. I checked to see what kind of hang-up call it was, but the phone indicated it was “in-use.” Just the touch of a button immediately gave me information – Abs was making a call. I headed to her room and found her snuggled under the covers with the tell-tale light of the phone shining through. Abs was giving information to a woman on the phone and I could hear the keyboard clattering as it took in all the conversation. Abs managed to get her vital sentence out to the woman on the other end of the line …”My mom is going to kill me!” she whispered.

I commandeered Abs’ phone and conversed with the 911 operator. If anyone in your household has ever made a 911 call, you know they have learned to never take any call lightly. A few minutes later two policeman, in full regalia, showed up on my front doorstep. I sent Abs to the door and insisted she explain herself.
PM: “What is the problem?”
Abs: “My mom is trying to kill me.”
PM: “How is she trying to kill you?”
Abs: “She hit me.”
PM: “Where did she hit you?”
Abs patted her bottom to show where the offense took place.
PM: “It is not against the law for a parent to spank a child.”
Abs: “Well, it should be!”
The officer gave a brief lecture, stressing that “A parent is allowed to use reasonable force to ensure the good behavior and safety of a child.”

The second policeman was questioning ABW inside the house.
 “When did all this start?” he asked.
“At birth!” she answered.

Everything having been resolved during the interrogation, the policemen made ready to leave. Abs who had been wandering through the front flower bed asked them to wait just a minute more. She carefully picked a couple of sprigs of artemisia and presented them to the uniformed officers while explaing they might smell like pine but they were not. They were still laughing as they walked back to their car.

I slept with four phones under my pillow that night.